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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536267">Take me too you're heaven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist'>terma_archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deliberate Badfic, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>1999-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>1999-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:21:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA">TER/MA</a> and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile">the TER/MA collection profile</a>.<br/>TER/MA September 1999 Challenge. It is time to have some fun.  This is one everybody is capable of doing, I think.  Even the best writers among us.  *g* So, we all read a lot of slash, right?  And we have all run across stories or mistakes so bad, we groan in misery and wonder what the hell the writer was thinking.  We all have little terms and pet peeves we hate to see in stories. Well this month's challenge is to write badfic.  I want to see stories that make me laugh they are so dreadful.  I want weeping manpoles, pendulous nutbags, winking puckered starfish of love, glistening bosoms...wait—that is the wrong genre.  If you mean you're, I want your.  Two,to and too can come and go at will.  Go find the worst mistakes you can , and write a story which includes them.  Whatever you do, DONT beta.  Write it at 5 in the morning after drinking 5 cups of expresso and not sleeping for 48 hours.  Or write it after having 18 shots of tequilla (or the poison of your choice). Whatever doesn't work for you.  Make it so dreadful, you can't read it without hanging your head in mock shame. And above all, have fun with it... --- OK, word of warning here.  These are really dreadful.  All are NC-17 for really bad taste.  If you looking for a good read, go elsewhere. <br/>September 1999 Disclaimer: CC, you don't have to beg, just use this for any episode. You know you want to. M/K, NC-17 Series/Sequel: No. How could I possibly produce anything better than this in the future? Warning: Okay, so it's not good at all, it's in fact bad, so very bad that I can't believe I'm sending it. Was that a good enough warning? Spoilers: Possibly... Archive: TER/MA, but with a proper badfic warning please... Author's notes: This is my response to the September badfic challenge on TER/MA, and it's the first challenge story I've ever written. And from now on, I will of course have to pray constantly that this will never be read by any of my English teachers that I've had through the years...</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TER/MA</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Take me too you're heaven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA">TER/MA</a> and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile">the TER/MA collection profile</a>.<br/>TER/MA September 1999 Challenge. It is time to have some fun.  This is one everybody is capable of doing, I think.  Even the best writers among us.  *g* So, we all read a lot of slash, right?  And we have all run across stories or mistakes so bad, we groan in misery and wonder what the hell the writer was thinking.  We all have little terms and pet peeves we hate to see in stories. Well this month's challenge is to write badfic.  I want to see stories that make me laugh they are so dreadful.  I want weeping manpoles, pendulous nutbags, winking puckered starfish of love, glistening bosoms...wait—that is the wrong genre.  If you mean you're, I want your.  Two,to and too can come and go at will.  Go find the worst mistakes you can , and write a story which includes them.  Whatever you do, DONT beta.  Write it at 5 in the morning after drinking 5 cups of expresso and not sleeping for 48 hours.  Or write it after having 18 shots of tequilla (or the poison of your choice). Whatever doesn't work for you.  Make it so dreadful, you can't read it without hanging your head in mock shame. And above all, have fun with it... --- OK, word of warning here.  These are really dreadful.  All are NC-17 for really bad taste.  If you looking for a good read, go elsewhere. <br/>September 1999 Disclaimer: CC, you don't have to beg, just use this for any episode. You know you want to. M/K, NC-17 Series/Sequel: No. How could I possibly produce anything better than this in the future? Warning: Okay, so it's not good at all, it's in fact bad, so very bad that I can't believe I'm sending it. Was that a good enough warning? Spoilers: Possibly... Archive: TER/MA, but with a proper badfic warning please... Author's notes: This is my response to the September badfic challenge on TER/MA, and it's the first challenge story I've ever written. And from now on, I will of course have to pray constantly that this will never be read by any of my English teachers that I've had through the years...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p><br/><b>Take me too you're heaven<br/>by Niccie</b>
</p>
<p><br/> 
Aleks Krycheck; for that was his name, allthough it could bee an alias, one could never be shore wid a person like him, butt his mom and dad had called him that, but of course they had called him other things too, and it had made him cry, and than they had called him other things, and he had cried more, and than they had hit him too, but he had loved them too, beckause you have to love you're parents, and when he had first mett Muleder he had not liked him, beckause he liked his parents, and Multred wa'snt like his parents, butt than he had betrayed Mudman, and when they met after that Mulderr had hit him and pushed him around and Aleks had fallen head over heals, beckause oh how he loved to be hitt, of course other people had hit him to, butt no one as attractive as Muld/er, and it was obviosly better to be hit by some one attractive, that must every one see, and oh Muldjerk was attractive, with his lips so delishiosly lushios, extra delishiosly lushios when he was pouting, and he was pouting a lott, pouting here, pouting there, pouting every where. 
</p>
<p>And now Aleks Krycokk, for that was his name, I think we can decide that now, allthough we might not ever gett any prooof:that that that is the case, but since wer'e used to calling him that why not continue to be doing it, beckause if we changed it and called him somethimng else he might get confused, and he is all ready so confused, beckause his parents where bad to him, but of course he thoght they were good, beckause he loves Muldeere now, beckause Mulle is like his parents, but than Mulllder is totally psycho, and one psycho in the family is enough, or maybe nott, 'maybe I can be a psycho to', Knulljuck thoght, nott realaising that he all ready was one. 
</p>
<p>And now Aleksander Vladimir Anatolij Koochokk stood before Muldoons apartmeant, getting ready to start skulking, beckause that was what he did, he did that a lott, a lott he was skulking around his apartmeant, not his own, there was no reeson for him to be skulking around his own apartmeant, he was skulking around Mullivers apartmeant, skulking on the day, skulking on the night, skulking to get a glimpse of the man he loved, the man he had loved and saved himself for since he had first hitt him, oh such an wonderfull erektion he had gotten from when Muldeteer had hitt him, and now, and oh he had begun skulking now BTW, he was hier again, skulking around Mul;ders apartmeant, and looking on his watch, he wondered when he could go up to Muldrens door, realaising after the twentysecondth taim after he watched his watch that it was probably about taim now. 
</p>
<p>And now Aleks and a phew!other names Kriekeks stood before and all so in front off Mollesters door, he stood before and all so in front off it (the door) to get ready to pick the lock on the door, he did that a lott, a lott he picked the lock on Muldears door, not his own, he had a key to his own, lotts of other peoples had all so keys to his door, but they coul'dn't get insaid any longer, beckause he had changed the lock on his door, beckause the peoples only did they come there to fuck him, but since that first time Mooo had hitt him he h'adnt' wanted any one else to fuck him, only Muldker could fuck him from that day whitch had happened years ago but Muldereen did'nt know that, well of course he knew that he had hitt him, but not that he was the only one that could fuck him, beckause Krytjoff hadnt told him. 
</p>
<p>And now he had gotten insaid Muldrakes apartmeant, he had done that after he had stood outsaid Myllders house and than had done some skulking around like he always did and than he had gone up to Murmels door to pick the lock something that he all so did a lott, and now he was insaid Moo-cows apartmeant and he new that Mulberry would sitt on his couch with his gun ready and surprise him, actually not surprise him beckause Krechonk all ready new that Mullet would be sitting on his couch with his gun ready and so it wou'ldnt be a surprise, but if he had'nt nown it 'couldve been a surprise, actually it couldv'e been fun if it had been a surprise, beckause Krytjock liked to being surprised, but now he wou'ldnt be but he suddenley had this most amazing wonderful marvellos and brilliant beyond all reeson idea that he could act surprised maybe that would be just as much fun, 'oh yes' Aleks thoght, suddenly very playful and happy, 'I will act surprised maybe that will be just as much fun'. 
</p>
<p>And now Aleks stood before Mullock acting surprised when he pointed his gun at him, and oh such a hardon he was getting all beckause of Mungossens gun to his head which he was acting surprised to have there and oh how he was hoping that Mullet would hitt him give him a reel good spanking beat him up in more ways then one beckause after that they could fuck and Krykrank would tell him that he was the only one who could fuck him beckause the other peoples d'idnt have any keys to the new lock on his door so they co'uldnt' come and fuck him anylonger, but of course Krytjeff didnt want them too beckause he only loved Muckaren but even if he had wanted anyone else to fuck him he wouldnt' now how to go about it beckause he usually just took his clothes off and got down on all foor when he heard the lock on his door being picked and was pennetraited without preparation of course, and he usually didnt look back to see who was fucking him beckause it did'nt matter as long he was getting fucked on a regular basis, but that was years ago before Muleman hitt him and he fell in love and since than no one else but Morley could touch him ever, not ever could any one else but only Mulled touch him. 
</p>
<p>And now he could see at Mussepiggs face that he was going to hitt him and oh how happy that made him, happy and playful like when he had decaided to act surprised allthough he new that Mulligrubs would point a gun at him, like he always did like he always expected him too do. 
</p>
<p>"  You know im' gonna hit you, dont you? Isnt' that why yo'uve come hear you motherfucking traitor that have hurt me and all peoples that I love, in fact i only love a very few peoples and those people you have hurt. You killed my father didnt you??" 
</p>
<p>"  yes!" 
</p>
<p>Kartoffels admission was followed by a hard slap on his face and oh how he had expected and wanted that, and oh he was so happy now that he had killed Mulligs father, 'oh please ask me more Mumble I want to tell you all the bad things iv'e done than we can go on with our life beckause oh yes this evening must end with you admitting your undying love for me as I will admit my undying love for you Mulsac but only if you keep hitting me of course beckause I like it when you hitt me. 
</p>
<p>"And you helped with Skullies abduction didnt you?!?   " 
</p>
<p>"YES!" 
</p>
<p>Slap on the face. 
</p>
<p>"And you beet up Skinnre and you also tried to kill him once di'dnt you ?" 
</p>
<p>At this Krybreak got a bit confused beckause only the viewers new it was him butt if Mullman new it was than he would slap him and that was of course a good thing. 
</p>
<p>"Oh yes!" 
</p>
<p>Slap on the face. 
</p>
<p>"In fact yo'uve only done bad things in your life h'avent you? 
</p>
<p>"YEEEES!!! " 
</p>
<p>But there was no slap on the face this time and Krytjenk was dissapointed beyond any and all reeson that any one could be possibley dissapointed beyond, little did he now that the psychologist in Murder had kicked in while he had been standing in front of Mordisk hoping praying dying to have his head kicked in. 
</p>
<p>"Oh babey, my poor babey, you must have had such an awful child hood to have become such a monster, a monster that I will love for the rest off my life beckause I can do that now that I now that you had a bad child hood. 
</p>
<p>Krytink stared at Mulish speakless, such an unusual tone of voice no one had speaked to him like that ever and it felt so good so very very very good to hear someone speak like that, in fact it felt much better then being slapped whitch Krytecke thoght was very strange but thoght may bee he would get used too but right now when he had just diss covered it all it did was make him realaise that his head suddenley hurt. 
</p>
<p>"Oh yes Mulchec, my beloved sweet precious angel with wonderfull lips that are even more wonderfull when your pouting oh yes my parents hit me and called me names and thats why I became a traitor only beckause off my bad child hood only only only, it wasnt me it was'nt it 'wasnt..." 
</p>
<p>" Oh my wonderful ex partner who Iv'e been attracted to from the first day we met beckause you have the most lovely green oh so green eyes that one can drown in and those eyelashes that make a grown man cry". 
</p>
<p>"Eh Multiple I think that should be more like 'eyelashes that make women green with envy'..." 
</p>
<p>"Dont correct me Im older and taller then you are and therefore you have to submit to me, is that cleer beckause now that I now that you did all you did beckause of  you're bad child hood Im' going to love you forever and I cant slap you any more.". 
</p>
<p>"Actually Mansgris your not taller it just looks that way on the screen because your the main character so it has to look like your taller apparantley th'ats standard on tv shows" 
</p>
<p>"Thats a smart observation but I wont have any more off it beckause you cant be smarter then me and apparantley you must be beckause I never made that observation, but I hope you understand that that was the last time you said such an intelligent thing like that beckause Im' older and taller then you are" Mumping said to the younger and shorter man. 
</p>
<p>"Oh Mummer my one and only, oh you the love of my life, I will do anything for you. ANYTHING!!!" 
</p>
<p>Krietjeck stepped back to be able to look his one true love in the eyes beckause god oh god he couldnt stop himself he had to sing , sing like he had never singed before, sing for Mulan the love of his life but only from that first time he had hitt him of course but now Murrain wo'uldnt hit him any longer but that was okay beckause he had just realaised that it hurt to be hitt and he understood now what Manpower meant with him making intelligent observations beckause that was very intelligent off him to realaise that it hurt when Myrslok hitt him. 'Im' so smart Krychekk thoght 'but I have to stop being smart beckause Mullvad is older and taller then I am', yes he would never ever say anything smart again but oh he would sing. 
</p>
<p>"Only yoooouuuu, can possess meeee, I need you're looove day and niiight..." 
</p>
<p>"Oh I love you're voice and oh what a wonderful song, did you write it you'reself?and do'nt lie to me I dont want any more lies between us. 
</p>
<p>"Oh Muldren no I wont lie to you anymore and I wont play games no more Mulkred no more" Krytokks eyes were shining with love and he could see it reflected in the older and taller mans eyes. 
</p>
<p>"No more lies and no more games, and oh how I will love you from now on now that I know that you did what you did beckause you had a bad child hood and I bet the consortium forced you to work for them to? 
</p>
<p>"Um yes they forced me Motsats I didnt want to at all and they didnt give me loads of money either I got no money at all from them and I defeniteley did not travel around Europe for all that money that I didnt get" 
</p>
<p>"Thats what I thoght poor babey, I love you so much more now, so did you write the song you'reself?" 
</p>
<p>"No its by Kiss its called Only you and oh thats how I feel for you Multrenn only you forever and ever and ever" 
</p>
<p>"But dont you remember that you were possessed once by that oilien obviosly Im ' not the only one who can possess you, babey" 
</p>
<p>"Oh snuggle bunney, my wonderful love muffin youre not jealous of that oilien are you?" 
</p>
<p>"I am actually beckause it was inside you" Monark pouted and he was so much even more attractive when he pouted and Krytjonck wanted to eat him up but he wouldnt' beckause he was not a cannibal instead he took his clothes off and got down on all foor and Multiple rammed in to him without lube of course after about a second, he did after all need time to get his own clothes off. 
</p>
<p>Afterwards when Motore was crushing Kreitjock into the floor so that he could hardly breathe he suddenley felt very romantic and he wanted to now when the younger and shorter man had fallen in love with him so he asked the younger and shorter man when he had fallen in love with him. 
</p>
<p>Kraeitjeck new now that Mulkderr d'idnt want to hit him any more so he didnt want to upset him by saying that he had fallen in love with him when he had first been hit by him, so he said something else he new that the older and taller man would like to here something that would make him understand that he would love him forever and ever in all eternity and possibley all so after that. 
</p>
<p>"It was when you left me handcuffed in the car at the airport and I yelled at you in Russian and you came back to the car and asked me if I spoke Russian and I thoght you were so smart beckause you recognaised that it was Russian allthough there are a few dozens of languages in Asia and Europe and possibly all so other parts of the world that sound almost the same but you recognaised it and I understood there and then Moloken how very intelligent you are and from that day I was all yours, Im sorry though that I didnt tell you that until today." 
</p>
<p>"Thats okay babey, allthough of course I couldve fucked you all these years if I had known", Moder looked thoghtful "but Im' glad you realaised how smart I am and of course now you all so now why 'Im' smarter then you, say it babey!"  Monotone demanded. 
</p>
<p>"Oh yes its' beckause your older and taller then I am." 
</p>
<p>"OH GOD YEEES!!!" 
</p>
<p>Montera was fucking Krychekc again allthough he was still soft beckause that was possible, and allthough he was still soft he orgasmed (beckause that was all so possible) when he heard the words of the man he was sure now had allways been destined to be his, how could he not love a man forever that so obviosley and cleerley realaised how intelligent he was. And why. 
</p>
<hr/>
<p>And no, you don't have to ask for a sequel, it's already on its way... 
</p>
<p>And as a sidenote, most of Mulder's names in this story actually mean something, parts of some of Krycek's names too, although not in English. 
</p>
<p>
  <a id="notes" name="notes"></a>
</p>
<table>
<tbody>
<tr><td> 
Take me too you're heaven 
<br/>by Niccie 
<br/>[email removed] 
<br/>September 1999 
<br/>Disclaimer: CC, you don't have to beg, just use this for any episode. You know you want to. 
<br/>M/K, NC-17 
<br/>Series/Sequel: No. How could I possibly produce anything better than this in the future? 
<br/>Warning: Okay, so it's not good at all, it's in fact bad, so very bad that I can't believe I'm sending it. Was that a good enough warning? 
<br/>Spoilers: Possibly... 
<br/>Archive: TER/MA, but with a proper badfic warning please... 
<br/>Author's notes: This is my response to the September badfic challenge on TER/MA, and it's the first challenge story I've ever written. And from now on, I will of course have to pray constantly that this will never be read by any of my English teachers that I've had through the years... </td></tr>
</tbody>
</table>
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